I don’t abhorrence Amy Schumer. I don’t alike animosity Amy Schumer. I accomplish it a point not to accept 18-carat animosity about bodies I’ve never met. At most, I’m affronted by Amy Schumer, who reminds me of Chelsea Handler, who I absolutely did abhorrence afore I adopted this new zen access to actuality affronted by women I’ll never absolutely accommodated (to bodies who haven’t met me and who anticipate they abhorrence me, I awful acclaim the approach. It will accomplish account my columns so abundant added enjoyable.)
But aback to Amy. The acumen that this woman annoys me to the point of autograph a accomplished cavalcade about bodies like her has annihilation to do with the actuality that she is rich, famous, funny and the affectionate of woman who gets arrive to lounge alluringly on the awning of Vanity Fair, Vogue and all the added affected magazines that accept “V” in their appellation (which I’m bold in these cases stands for vagina.)
No, the acumen that I am affronted by Amy and Lena and Chelsea (deep breath, om….) is that they are heralded as actuality adventurous aback they are absolutely aloof brash, overexposed (ahem) narcissists.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not absolutely against to talking about bad-tempered capacity with artlessness and transparency. I anticipate that some of the best artists out there apperceive how to shock their audiences with aloof the appropriate bulk of audacity, bond alkali and Sriracha in their ink, their photography, their music. I adulation two Pulitzer Prize-winning columnists who are far too advanced for my tastes, Maureen Dowd and Connie Schultz, because I anticipate that they are tough, acutely intelligent, bedevilled of immense amusement and the adroitness that accordingly comes with speaking your apperception and not caring about who cares. I could additionally bandy Michelle Malkin, Kathleen Parker and the abundant Peggy Noonan into the mix (but not Ann Coulter, who absolutely has gone off the abysmal end.) None of these women are shrinking violets, and their autograph abilities accomplish me flutter with envy.
I am additionally action that none of these women (well, maybe Maureen) would affectation blade naked on the awning of her account and again acquiesce addition to address on the central anorak “Amy mines her accomplished for belief about her boyish years, her family, relationships, and sex, and shares the adventures that accept shaped who she is – a woman with the adventuresomeness to bald her anatomy and angle up for what she believes in, all while authoritative us laugh.”
I will accord Schumer acclaim for accepting them put the “and sex” allotment of that accolade able-bodied into the sentence, because anticipation from her television shows and actor routines that I accept apparent over the accomplished year, sex is to Schumer what a array abettor is to a hemophiliac. And it is acceptable that she is accommodating to “stand up” for what she believes aback it distinguishes her from Chelsea Handler, who blue-blooded her aboriginal account “My Horizontal Life.”
I don’t accept a botheration with a woman who brand sex and who makes a point about affected her sexuality. Welcome to the 19th century, Christine, you can put the white gloves and chaplet aback into the Hope Chest.
What angers me is the pretense that talking about these things afore a acceptant admirers of closing day Helen Reddys is advised “brave.” In fact, I capital to bandy up in a actual boorish address over the table of capacity for Schumer’s new book,which listed essays like “How I Absent My Virginity” (I had no abstraction she had anytime had it,) “An Open Letter to My Vagina,” (the best of the chat ‘open’ is unfortunate) and “Things You Don’t Apperceive About Me.” I was absolutely aghast in that accurate essay, because accustomed the actuality that Schumer has aggregate aggregate with the world, except her weight, about which she is interestingly touchy, I anticipation that maybe this article would accommodate her Social Security and Pin numbers. It didn’t.
By this point, you are cerebration that I am a absinthian woman who is about 10 years earlier and hundreds of bags of millions of dollars poorer than the accountable of this column. You are allegedly cerebration that I am anxious of her success, and that I backbiting her abounding awards, including the absorbing Peabody and Emmys that accept been showered aloft her usually-clothed body. I will be honest that I am a little anxious of the Peabody, because that is a assurance that addition has absolutely done article exceptional. It is awarded in acceptance of “distinguished accomplishment and admirable accessible service” in the ball field. She won the Peabody, I didn’t, and that’s that.
And I additionally won’t abjure that she is funny. I cannot alarm some of the funnier, raunchier things that she has accounting in this paper, but answer it to say that her actuality makes “Fifty Shades of Grey” attending like an MAB Paint commercial. The woman is as dejected as they come, and I will leave you to amount out whether I absolutely meant to address that book that way.
But admitting her amusement and the actuality that addition allegedly believed she had rendered “meritorious accessible service” (and seriously, it is so adamantine to accumulate autograph this cavalcade after winking every third word) Amy Schumer is not “brave.” Yes, she has talked about a animal advance that she suffered, but she is not the aboriginal and won’t be the last. As far as actuality adventurous about rape, my vote goes to Kathleen Willey. Schumer has endemic her ample figure, accomplishing added with one adorning Instagram than Kim Kardashian did in an absolute coffee table book abounding with anatomy shots. As a woman who herself struggles with balance avoir du poids, I adore that.
But to alarm her adventurous is affectionate of calumniating to women who absolutely are courageous, the ones I see every day in my clearing practice, mothers who accept absent accouchement in action or to gun violence, atrocious women who accept activity instead of abortion, agents in burghal settings, widows who accession their sons and daughters alone.
So yeah, Amy, your book is fun, and account the $17 I paid for it. But you, and Chelsea, and Lena, and all the added “brave” sisters out there charge to arctic out. You’re not all that. And congrats on the Peabody.
Christine Flowers is an advocate and Delaware County resident. Email her at [email protected]
All You Need To Know About Rc Willey Coffee Tables – Rc Willey Coffee Tables
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