Five Ways On How To Prepare For Office Coffee Table

A momument to Kramer: A coffee table fabricated of coffee table books, complete with an angel of Jerry Seinfeld on one book cover

Office Coffee Table
Office Coffee Table | Office Coffee Table

Web acquaint on: Tuesday, May 12, 1998 1:14:42 PM EDT

ATLANTA (CNN) — Aback he is accomplished with his gig on “Seinfeld”, Cosmo Kramer will best acceptable bang up his own ablaze business and become a multi-billionaire. Afterwards all, he is a man of ideas, and his account never added up to nothing.

To the contrary, Kramerica, Inc. brainstorms were so right-on, so in-your-face obvious, we generally wondered why, indeed, there wasn’t a cologne that smelled like a beach, or a float to assure the agreeable of oil tankers afterwards a collision.

Office Coffee Table
Office Coffee Table | Office Coffee Table

Perhaps Kramer’s best-known idea, his forest-through-the-trees masterpiece, was his advancement of a coffee table book about coffee tables, complete with legs, and a coaster on the cover. The publishing industry swooned, and now we swoon, too, in account of Kramer’s awe-inspiring concept.

As the final “Seinfeld” — and the aftermost thoughts from Kramer — beam off into re-run land, we pay accolade to his coffee table book abstraction with … The Abundant Coffee Table Book Hunt.

In our search, admeasurement didn’t matter. What mattered was the subject; we capital works so profound, so arcane, so abnormal that if you saw it sitting in a friend’s abode (where abroad but on the coffee table?!?) you had to aces it up.

Office Coffee Table
Office Coffee Table | Office Coffee Table

We didn’t run beyond a coffee table book about coffee tables (any publishers account this?), but we did bare these treasures:

“Rolling Stone: The complete covers, 1967-1997” (Abrams) gives admirers all of the magazine’s covers including, of course, a archetypal attempt of Jerry Seinfield assuming off his Elvis-style Spandex jump clothing while he chows bottomward on a turkey leg. But Jerry is but one of the 728 covers that graced the magazine, from No. 1 featuring a publicity attempt of John Lennon from the blur “How I Won the War” to the 30th ceremony affair that featured Courtney Love, Tina Turner and Madonna and a adventure blue-blooded “Women of Rock”.

“Menopause Madness” by Pat Ross (Fireside), a beautiful little book (6 inches by 6 inches) abounding with witticisms that Elaine Benes is apprenticed to absolute in a few years. Declared as a “rash yet compassionate little book,” MM offers dozens of one-liners premised on that archetypal set-up, “You apperceive you’re in menopause aback …”

Office Coffee Table
Office Coffee Table | Office Coffee Table

“Atomic Cocktails: Mixed Drinks for Modern Times” by Karen Brooks, Gideon Bosker and Reed Darmon (Chronicle) harkens aback to those abundant canicule aback the aboriginal affair a acknowledged being did was appear home from assignment and alpha drinking! “Tough day at the office? Unwind with a nice, air-conditioned Urban Bourbon” the book accessory invites. “This attenuate book offers to acknowledge “the secrets agog swingers accept spent years discovering, including the fundamentals of mixology and how to adept all the classics: the Manhattan, Side Car, Old-Fashioned, Mint Julep. “It alike includes a adviser to accessories and glassware.” We can account Kramer in that leopard-print smoker jacket, sipping air-conditioned gin and because his abutting masterpiece.

“Bugs in 3-D” by Mark Blum (Chronicle) will be a hit for any 12-year-old boy, or for anyone in your activity who acts like any of the macho characters in Seinfield. Its appellation says it all — you get dozens of blush images of awe-inspiring bugs and a congenital stereoscope to appearance them all in 3-D! “Cool!” we apprehend you cry. And it is!

“Verbiage for the Verbose” by Pete Gordon (Andrews McMeel) helps you be air-conditioned at all the parties and agents affairs by giving you absolute translations for Smartspeak phrases, and visa-versa! So the aphorism “like two peas in a pod” becomes the abundant added argot accelerated “Resembling a duad of blooming vegetables in a berry vessel.” The aphorism “Don’t bandy the babyish out with the bathwater” becomes “Do not actuate of the baby aback administration of the aqueous in the tub.” In added words, it’s chat play! Yada, yada, yada.

Office Coffee Table
Office Coffee Table | Office Coffee Table

“These are the Voyages … a three-dimensional Brilliant Trek Album” by Charles Kurts ( Pocket Books) has to rank abreast the top of any account of books declared as visually outstanding yet basically useless. In added words, we admired it! Aloof lift the awning and archetypal Brilliant Trek scenes pop up, accompanied by a storyline by acclaimed Trek inhabitants, from Capt. James T. Kirk (star date 2270) and Ambassador Spock (2296) to Capt. Jean-Luc Picard (2367) Commander Benjamin Sisko (2371).

We arrest this account of arcania to accommodate three coffee table books of socially redeeming value. Please do not acclimatize your computers. The account of arcania will abide in a moment!

“The Art of Frank Howell” (Doubleday) has admirable and beaming images of the built-in bodies and accustomed adorableness of the Southwest United States. The book (the aboriginal in this account to absolutely fit the accepted analogue of ‘coffee table book’) offers full-color reproductions of about 80 paintings as able-bodied as atramentous and white photographs of the artisan at work.

Office Coffee Table
Office Coffee Table | Office Coffee Table

“Feeling the Spirit: Searching the apple for the bodies of Africa” by Chester Higgins Jr. (Bantam) is addition archetypal coffee table book with beauteous images and acute text. “We are Africans not because we are built-in in Africa, but because Africa is built-in in us,” writes Higgins.

“Flash! The Associated Press Covers the World” (Abrams) is a acute accumulating of the photos that not alone fabricated the news, but were the news. How far will they go for the story? Accede the aftermost celerity of the AP anchorman accoutrement Custer’s attack adjoin the Sioux in 1876″: “I go with Custer and will be at the death.”

The aftermost three entries were provided so this adventure included some books of culture. Now aback to the cabalistic and unusual!

Office Coffee Table
Office Coffee Table | Office Coffee Table

“A Brief History of Underwear: Unmentionables” by Elaine Benson and John Esten (Simon & Schuster) dives appropriate to the affection of the amount with the book flap: “Garters. Bras. Briefs. Corselettes. Underpants. We apperceive what these adult items are, but how abundant do we absolutely apperceive about them?” How abundant do you appetite to know? This book takes you from strategically placed fig leafs on Adam and Eve to “fetishistic paraphernalia, built-in elements of sadomasochistic fantasy.” Hang on!

“The Adventures of Sandee the Supermodel” by Isaac Mizrahi, illustrations by William Frawley (Simon & Schuster) is billed as a “3 book miniseries” but is absolutely three marvelously fatigued and clumsily scripted banana books. The adventure follows Sandee from her accession in New York — “I aloof accelerating from a clay academy in Bountiful, Utah” — to her betrayal by the publicist, Hildegarde, and her accomplishment by Yvessac. And accede the aback cover, which offers a nearly-nude cartoon of her. “Meet Sandee,” reads the text. “She’s 5’9 1/2, platinum blonde, and accessible to go! Cut her out and dress her up in her aces apparel and accessories begin central on pages 11 and 22. Take her dancing in her “supermodel” black wear, sunning in her spa clothes, aimless in her cutoffs and gingham halter. And don’t forget, she never wears annihilation but delicate blush lingerie beneath her arroyo coat. She’s tasteful, she’s classic, she’s timeless. She’s Sandee!”

“Mighty Chronicles” (Chronicle) are tiny books (3 inches by 4 inches) that affection archetypal movies. We couldn’t abide the Brilliant Wars collection, a leash (just like the movies) that acquaint the abounding adventure in banana version. Aces ’em up and you won’t put ’em down!

Office Coffee Table
Office Coffee Table | Office Coffee Table

Finally, a coffee table book for pet lovers! (You didn’t anticipate we’d balloon them, did ya?) “People and Their Animals: The Bond” by Robert Caras and Shel Secunda (Simon & Schuster) shows the astonishing and bewitched band amid bodies and their irrepressible pets. Be abiding to analysis out Gary Larson’s bullmastiff called Murray.

© 1998 Cable Account Network, Inc.All Rights Reserved.

Five Ways On How To Prepare For Office Coffee Table – Office Coffee Table
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Office Coffee Table
Office Coffee Table | Office Coffee Table

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Office Coffee Table
Office Coffee Table | Office Coffee Table

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Office Coffee Table | Office Coffee Table

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Office Coffee Table | Office Coffee Table

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Office Coffee Table | Office Coffee Table

Office Coffee Table
Office Coffee Table | Office Coffee Table

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