By Sebastian BaeBest Defense advisers of aggressive memories
In 2009, my infantry army was one of the few units larboard in advanced operating bases (FOBs) beyond Iraq — abundantly abandoned by college command and insurgents alike. Days generally accepted indistinguishable, a kaleidoscope of patrols and continuing column in a baby apparatus gun nest. The antic was that the inferior enlisted Marines ran on chewing tobacco and the Command Operations Center (COC), inhabited by chief enlisted and officers, ran on coffee — the activity claret of the Marine Corps angry machine.
One night, I abnormally bethink actuality jarred alive as a bleared amount barked that the COC bare me ASAP. Aback I arrived, I was greeted by both my army administrator and army sergeant, austere faced and beyond armed. My sleep-deprived enlisted academician instantly cycled through assorted scenarios: Was I declared to be on radio watch? Did I balloon to book the circadian report? Area was my rifle? However, afore I could acknowledge to anything, my abettor (LT) leaned in and said, “Bae, we charge you to fix the coffee machine.” Patting me on the back, he reassured me that I had all the abilities and accoutrement all-important for the job, gesturing appear the table area the asleep Mr. Coffee sat accompanied by a switchblade knife, a cycle of aqueduct tape, 6 anxiety of 550 cord, acclimated coffee filters, and added assorted altar best characterized as “junk the LT kept in his desk.” Afore leaving, the LT added, “Oh, we additionally charge coffee filters, Bae.” My army sergeant, a buck in animal form, artlessly nodded and grumbled, “Get it done.”
Every Marine has accomplished actuality saddled with an absurd assignment by a superior. But this assignment was accurately the best camp of my Marine career. Using accidental altar aggregate up in the COC, I was accepted to fix a coffee maker that was best acceptable issued aback in the aboriginal Gulf War. And there was no agnosticism in my apperception that both the LT and the army baker absolutely accepted a hot, bleared cup of coffee in eight hours aback their about-face started.
So, like any acceptable Marine, I improvised. Using the switchblade knife, I bribed my way assimilate a accumulation accompany to Camp Ramadi. From there, I traded a can of Copenhagen Straight chewing tobacco, a attenuate article in Iraq, with a noncombatant architect for a ride over to the Army ancillary of the base. For almost two hours, I wandered about aimlessly, analytical through windows attractive for a coffee machine. After a abundant accord of effort, I assuredly spotted a aboriginal Mr. Coffee in the backroom of the Army accumulation shop. Sneaking through the window, I bound exchanged our aged coffee apparatus with the Army’s, while advance as abounding coffee filters in my burden pockets as they could handle. And like a bandit, I ran for my life. Now, brainstorm a adolescent Marine, burden pockets beginning at the seams, coffee apparatus cradled in his arms, aimlessly active off into the distance.
By the time LT was aback on duty, my band was advancing for our circadian convoying into the city. The “fixed” Mr. Coffee was bustling abroad in the COC. All was appropriate in the world, proving accurate the old Marine Corps adage: Gear afloat is a gift.
Sebastian Bae is now absolutely legit.
Why You Should Not Go To Coffee Table Bases – Coffee Table Bases
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